Asexual-Society: You're Valid!!

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
twyella
drill-teeth

You know. Some people could really stand to get more comfortable with the idea of “you shouldn’t say that because it’s mean”. Especially with really common body shaming and straight up bullying lines.

“You shouldn’t make ugly bald jokes because what if a transman on T sees it!”

“You shouldn’t make virgin jokes because what if someone who’s asexual sees it!”

How about you just don’t make them because they’re mean. How about people can be balding or a virgin for a number of reasons and also don’t deserve to be routinely made fun of. How about saying that the reason you shouldn’t make x joke because it spares x specific identity’s feelings also let’s them know that you actually have no problem saying or thinking bald people are ugly or virgins are stupid or etc but you’re just not saying it in front of them. How about you understand this kind of body shaming and bullying especially in a very public setting online are always going to have way more unintended damage to people who did nothing wrong than damage to the person you’re upset with.

Sometimes the best reason to not make a bad joke like that is because it’s fucking mean.

aroace-cat-lady
pinene

Very reductive when people on here act like the lgbt is simply a tactical alliance when we are a community drawn to each other for our prioritization of self actualization and self love over societal expectations.. there’s tactics to it but even if we weren’t oppressed similarly we’d still be family. I see myself in lesbians. I see myself in trans dudes and girls, bisexuals and gender-fluid people… we’re not just discrete identities huddling for warmth. Come on

aspecpplarebeautiful

Anonymous asked:

I feel like a bad Aro for preferring romantic ships. I fully encourage shipping things queerplatonically but I always like the ships as romantic and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s like I’m looking at this mystical thing and deciding it would be perfect for my blorbos even though I don’t have it.

aspecpplarebeautiful answered:

There are no rules that aros can’t have romantic ships or enjoy shipping characters romantically.

There’s nothing bad or amoral about romance, romance is neutral, just like every other type of relationship (including QPRs) is neutral.

And aromantic doesn’t mean not romantic in any way or anti-romance, some aros do like interacting with romance in certain contexts.

Sometimes I like to look at aromanticism as having a unique relationship to romance, that’s different than an alloromantic’s relationship might be. What that unique relationship looks like, and how much or how little a relationship to romance that includes varies from aro to aro, but it’s something we all navigate. I think looking at it that way sometimes can make it easier to accept the parts of ourselves that are still interested in romance in some ways (if applicable) but also acknowledge that it’s still in a way that makes the aro label useful for us.

You’re not a bad aro, Anon, and I think honestly the best way to be a good aro is being true to yourself and not trying to force yourself into a mold that doesn’t quite fit right.

All the best!

Anonymous asked:

Any tips for someone trying to become a little less sex repulsed? I am aroace, and while i dont think theres anything wrong with being sex repulsed, the levels of anxiety and anger i feel towards people who have sex/sexual desires feels a bit unhealthy. I dont know where these emotions come from, perhaps repressed trauma or something? In any case, an example of my feelings is when one of my friends showed me a condom they got from a pride parade (it had a trans flag on it, they also had a boyfriend at the time). I felt so angry and overwhelmed that i clenched my fists super hard and left fingernail marks in my palms for the rest of the day. Every time i hear someone say they had sex (outside of a joking manner) it puts me in a bad mood for a good while. I know i should probably talk to a therapist about how i feel, but i feel too embarrassed to say anything without anonymity. Thank you if you read this, i hope you have a nice day

Sorry this has taken so long, tumblr ate my original response bc I was doing it on mobile like a dumbass, but anyway! Okay! Disclaimers! I’m not a professional and speaking to a real professional before trying to therapize yourself out of a phobia is always the best course of action, but failing that, here is how I, an ace person with no relevant qualifications, have become less sex repulsed. And if I give any glaringly terrible or dangerous advice please let me know politely in the comments of this post, so I can edit it rather than yelling at me in the reblogs, if possible.

CW: I talk about spiders in this, but I am very afraid of spiders so it’s not that in depth.

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asks dubious advice from non healthcare professionals seriously don't take my word for any of this you'd be better off reading up on dealing with phobias yourself sex mention sex repulsed sex repulsion asexual mod key

Anonymous asked:

I'm wondering if I might be asexual. I have a huge crush on one of my friends and it turns out they feel the same. I wanted to go slow by we kind of got ahead of ourselves and were intimate immediately. Not full on sex, but I don't know the terms for different levels of intimacy. And I really really like them, but I didn't enjoy being intimate. This has happened before. I like the idea of intimacy and I feel sexually attracted to people and I want to be intimate with them, but actually doing it feels unnatural and weird. It seems like other people are fully into it during the act, but I just can't get into it. I feel distant and uncomfortable.

Anyway, I was intimate with this person and instead of feeling happy because they like me back, I just wish I would have slowed things down, and I feel weird that I didn't like it. I had horrible nightmares the night after as well.

The worst part is that now I almost feel like I never want to be touched or kissed again, which really sucks because me and this person are about to start a relationship and I really want to be with them.

Sorry this was long. I just feel so weird and freaked out and conflicted and some insight from someone who knows about asexuality would be really helpful.

Sorry it’s taken so long to get to this ask, I hope you’re doing okay! From what you’ve said I think you for sure could be ace, especially if you’ve had issues with sexual situations before. I think you should definitely communicate your discomfort with your partner; they wouldn’t want to force you into anything you’re not comfortable with or fully enjoying. Sex is supposed to be fun, and if it’s making you feel this bad, regardless of whether or not you’re ace, you should probably put a pause on it.

You’ve said you do feel sexual attraction, which might be the case, and it’s fine if it is and you just don’t like sex, but there are lots of other ways to be intimate, emotionally or physically with someone, that don’t involve sex, but equally, it’s okay to like the idea of intimacy or even sex with someone, but not want it or enjoy it in practice. Do you feel like when you see your partner that you want to have sex with them? Or do you have sexual fantasies or thoughts about them, or imagine them naked, for example? Because if not, you might not be sexually attracted to them, but even if you are, and I can’t stress this enough, you still don’t have to have sex with them.

If you want my opinion (and I’m not a professional so don’t take my word as gospel), I think you should explain to your partner how you feel, and I think you should avoid pushing yourself into sexual or intimate situations with them, at the very least until you’ve discussed it with them. It might be that you need to have a break from being physical with them, and maybe consider waiting to see if you feel more comfortable after some time, but there’s no reason you can’t still be in a romantic relationship with them if that’s what you want. Plenty of ace people have happy romantic relationships that involve little or no sex/physical intimacy.

I wish you all the best anon, and I hope things work out okay for you.

~ mod key

asks asexual sex mention mod key

Anonymous asked:

idk if this is the best place to ask, but i genuinely can’t tell if im ace. i know im not aro bc i experience feelings of romance, but sometimes im not sure if i like the idea of being physically intimate with other people? like the idea of kissing makes me wanna gag sometimes lol. im in my 20s and i’ve never been in a relationship (purely circumstantial) and the older i get without being in one the less i think I want one? like, i can live without it, im fine. i love platonic love and found family and when i picture my future, i see a kid but no partner. does any of this sound like an ace experience?

When you say you experience feelings of romance, do you mean you have crushes on people? Do you meet people and imagine or want to do romantic acts with them? Plenty of people who experience romantic attraction aren’t that into relationships or dating, or don’t feel a strong urge to get married, and relationships are a complicated thing anyway, because everyone has different ideas about what they should involve, it’s just much more common for aromantic or asexual people not to want those things.

I would say that it sounds like you could be ace, and probably sex averse/repulsed. I’m personally not super into kissing, and for me it feels like an ace thing (rather than an aro thing, but some ace people like kissing and view it as romantic, everyone’s different), but the important part of it is whether you feel a strong desire to have sex with a specific person or not, which is sort of the bare bones of what sexual attraction means. I think that regardless of how you feel about having a partner (you don’t need to label that if you don’t want to, asexual is a label you can use on its own), that your experiences could line up with asexuality, and like I say, you don’t need to use the split attraction model if it isn’t helpful for you- if you feel like your desire for a partner is linked with asexuality, then it is, simple as that, and if it’s not, then you still don’t have to have a partner if you don’t want one.

I really hope this was helpful for you, but if you’d like some more information or to clear anything up, you can go ahead and send another ask.

~mod key

asks asexual mod key
mossy-aro
nodistinction-noproblem

hey, does anyone have any arospec youtuber suggestions? i find videos made by people like me helpful, but i don’t think i can handle the results that might come up just from searching “aromantic” on youtube right now.

i just want to hear other people’s experiences in video form and in general support any aro creators that might be on there!!

weird-potato-chip

Okay. So when I was initially questioning if I was aro, I would look at almost every aro video on youtube that I could find. This is what I found, plus some that I came across more recently. (Means I haven’t watched all of these creators/videos… but most. Whoops.)

Youtubers that have more than one video about being aromantic on their channel:

  • Nik Hampshire: He has a video series about being aroallo
  • Lynn Saga: Lynn is alloace but they have some aromantic-themed videos on their channel, including ones that feature their aroallo sibling and their experiences
  • OfficiallyDevinity: She has I think three videos about being aro on her channel
  • Spacey Aces: A group of three people, all ace, some aro. Mostly ace content but a few aro videos as well
  • Alice Aro: Most aro videos of her are actually meme reactions I think
  • Celeste M: This aro(ace?) creator has two or three aromantic videos on their channel, including one about their platonic marriage
  • Samantha Aimee: A vlogger doing lots of different stuff and also talking about being aroace occasionally
  • Clara Dehlin: She has only three videos, all of them are about being aroace
  • bmud angel: Another very small aroace creator with two or three aro videos

And here are some more youtubers that don’t really make aro content but are aro and made exactly one video about that (like a coming out video):

  • Jaidenanimations (I’m pretty sure every aspec person on here has seen it but just in case)
  • Eva Abidin (straight aro)
  • The Lost Media Archive (bi aro)
  • itsPetal (aroace)
  • T B Skyen (aroallo)

This is a work in progress and in no way complete. But I hope it helps!

(Also please correct me if I’m wrong about anything)

noromoveryhomo

I went digging and found a few more to add to this post!

  • David J Bradley: They are aroace. At a quick glance, most of their videos appear to be about asexuality, but it looks like they have at least one which is more focused on aromanticism based on their thumbnails. They mostly appear to make videos about different media.
  • Alpharad: His videos are mostly gaming, with next to no content about his queer experiences, if that’s what you’re looking for. I only included him because he said in a video a little over a month ago that he’s aro and on the ace spec.
  • Zoe Stoller: They have a video where they talk about being demisexual and demiromantic. According to their channel description, they mostly focus on LGBTQ education.
nodistinction-noproblem

Thank you sm for the additions!! :))

mossy-aro

i found another aspec youtuber who isn’t on this list so here’s another rec! talistheintrovert (bi/ace) - here’s their most recent video about barbie and ace rep:

not all of their content is ace centric but they discuss things through an ace lens and have made multiple videos about it (from what i can find) so please go check them out! i’m also pretty sure they’re on tumblr so they might see this

ace-aro-queerplatonic-positivity
lost-on-t-umblr

Realizing you can like people aesthetically without it dictating your sexuality is so liberating tbh. Like, one can adore, even be obsessed with, the looks of someone of the same sex and still be straight. One can find people beautiful, and handsome, and fascinating, and still be asexual. I can like the physical appearance of someone of the opposite sex and still be gay. Finding physical beauty in people doesn’t equal to being physically, or sexually, or romantically attracted to them. Human beauty isn’t inherently sexual. Just wanted to put it out there.

atmilliways
cannabiscomrade

So Arizona launched an “education hotline” that allows “concerned parents” to report “””critical race theory””” and other things like ~gender identity~ being taught in the classroom

It would be a shame if the number and email were spread to bad actors looking to prank call the AZ Department of Education

602-771-3500 or empower @ azed .gov 🤡

‘Empower’ hotline by Arizona Dept. of Education dealing with prank calls in first week
Horne said two staff members are sorting through the calls, and two investigators are working on credible leads.
azfamily.com
yeah-yeah-beebiss-1

and for the love of god, don’t just spam it with memes or le funny shrek jokes or whatever, they’ll just hang up

make plausible-sounding reports for things that don’t actually exist, so that they actually have to waste time/resources investigating false leads - the goal is to waste time they would otherwise be using to do their jobs, not to get tumblr clout for being an epic troll

neko-setsuka

So apparently the internet article said the superintendent wouldn't be deterred by the prank calls because they would 'taper off eventually'. It'd be a real shame if this post stayed in circulation via queues so they get a consistent list of prank calls to filter through. 😇

thatqueerweirdo
mamajosrefuge

The EU is doing a big survey for LGBTQ people who live in the EU about how it is for them right now. That's the kind of survey that's used for official reports and for laws so it's super important that it has as many people taking it as possible. You can take it in every EU language. (You can change the language in the top right corner) Share it with your friends!

https://www.lgbtiqsurvey.eu/lgbtiq

autcore
dysphoria-things

i finally started working on my google form, which i’m calling the aromantic census! ill take interacting with this post as a sign you want to be tagged when i publish it.

dysphoria-things

it’s finished! it’s fairly short, but i hope it gets enough responses that i can get some good data.

aromantic census
i’ve noticed, in the time i spend on pubmed and in queer spaces, that there’s not much research into aromantic identities. since i am not a
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